Yep, there's something there!

Sept. 21, 2009 is the first available appointment with my regular doctor. I've been thinking about this nasty thing for about 10 or 11 days now...trying to convince myself that it really wasn't there...I was just imagining things...but no, it was still there, like it or not. Well, good! Dr thinks "it feels cystic"...probably not a tumor....yeah! That's what I wanted to hear. But we'll set you up for a mammogram and ultra sound right away to be sure. Right away at Magan Medical Center is October 8 so here we go again, hurry up and wait. Of course no one there would give me an opinion so it's wait for the doctor to call with the results one more time. Low and behold, my doctor calls that very same day to say yes, there definitely is something there and now we need to do a needle biopsy. Doesn't that sound pleasant? She'll get her office to get this moving as quickly as possible. I can't keep the secret any longer...but what's the use in telling anyone...so I just confided in a couple of my closer friends and asked them to kind of keep it under wraps til I knew for sure.

October 12, 2009 I still haven't heard anything from the doctor about the needle biopsy so I jumped in and started making phone calls. More than once I had to call Magan x-ray, the doctor, the diagnostic lab, the radiologist, the insurance and you all know how it goes...every phone call has an on hold time of at least 10 minutes and everyone is blaming the lack of communication on someone else. I wanted to scream. Just settle this, now! Finally, late that afternoon, my doctor calls with the bad news...."it is a tumor". It's about 1.8 centimeters, approximately 3/4" x 1/2" x 1/2". (I don't have all my information really clear at this point...but I'm pretty sure this is what my doctor told me from the radiology report)...we still needed to do the needle biopsy at this point in time. In the meanwhile I started checking into information to see if it was possible to go to City of Hope. It is, but it's not easy when ones insurance isn't set up for it. I talked to a very nice lady from C of H and got all the information on how to go about seeing if I could switch over. There wasn't one question I asked that she didn't know the answer. It's just amazing how kind and thorough and understanding the people at C of H are and then one has to deal with the staff at Magan, and the local doctors offices staffs of whom, many, really don't seem to even know why they came to work today, let alone have any interest in you as a patient.

After calling the diagnostic lab to make the appointment for the needle biopsy....getting a date of Oct. 19, 2009, once again it was hurry up and wait. Then about 3 days after making the appointment they called me back and decided the tech wasn't going to be in that day and changed it to Oct. 22, 2009. My friend agreed to drive me there and wait for me and listen to me whine. The actual procedure only took about 12 minutes and I watched on a little TV like screen. I could see the tumor and theneedle inside the tumor. Very little pain or discomfort, of course it was deadened with a local. He told me I would hear a click and this would be the needle grabbing hold of a piece of it. He also said something about the tumor didn't want to let go of it...and he had to tug a little to get the needle out. He took 3 specimens and said that was all he needed and that it would be sent to Glendora Foothill Presbyterian Hospital lab for diagnostics. He said there are 17 steps to developing it to the state of reading it and that it would take a least a day so since this was Thursday, I probably wouldn't hear anything until Monday. Keep ice on the injection site and don't use that arm for a day or two. My friend and I had lunch and came home. Afternoon is upon me and still no pain...thank goodness. Well, now that the shot is wearing off...maybe enough for a couple of Tylenol but that's about it. Sleep tight dear!

Friday, October 23, 2009....my doctor called at 3:40 p.m. stating the results are positive. My exact comment was "Oh s--t! does that mean malignant?" She wants me to see a surgeon, Dr. Timothy Chong on Monday 10/26 to discuss it. Is this really happening? How did I get here? Sometime before this point I had informed my daughters of my plight and a few more close friends...but for some reason I still felt that this whole thing was going to turn around and not be so....no need to make a big deal out of it...everything's gonna be ok!.

How Did I Get Here?

September 2009 was just a few months ago, but it seems like forever. Just laying in bed watching TV, kind of playing with my doggie, Angel and my hand goes to my breast for protection when Angel was getting kind of rambunctious. Whoaaaaa! What was that? Wait a minute...no way....all these thoughts are quickly running through my head....did I feel a lump? No, couldn't be...better be sure.....check again.....yes, there is something "different there"...right on the top part of my left breast. I remembered asking the doctor years ago..."would I know if if I actually felt a lump in my breast".....his reply was yes, you'll know the difference. Yes, this was something different....don't panic....it's probably nothing.....even though you know that your fraternal grandmother had breast cancer, your father died of lung cancer at 63, your brother died of liver cancer in his 60's and you have twin daughters that have both gone through mastectomies.......don't panic....you're OK.

Being the "do it right" person that I am when it comes to health....I've had my mammograms, faithfully every year for about the last 25 or 30 years. I do the "check in the shower" thingy, not faithfully, but whenever I think of it. Couple of times there were questions but they were always quickly ruled out....everything is A-OK! This year the mammogram was due in August and somehow we got behind....and now it was September. What a difference a year makes! So many thoughts run through ones mind.....as to why something like this should be happening. I take my vitamins, I get plenty of rest, I eat a pretty good diet (maybe a little too much junk food...sugar, fat etc)...but I love my veges, too. I've colored my hair for many years....could I have ruined my health by doing that....Nah! Lots of people color their hair and live forever with out a problem. Well, not to worry! There is probably really no reason to get myself all upset. Call the doctor in the morning and make an appointment for this years mammogram. Everything's gonna be OK.

First thing next morning I make that call. Wouldn't you know, this is Friday, doctor has no open appointments and she's going on vacation all next week so the appointment is made for a week away. Why not just go have the mammogram....."no, doctor should see you first....one more week wont make a difference"...really?, maybe it wont make a difference to you, the appointment maker but I get to live with this ugly thought in the back of my head for one more week. I don't want to tell everyone or anyone...and have them worring, too. I just wont say anything until I know if there is really a problem. Yes, that's the best way to handle it at this stage of the game. I'll just go about my business as if everything is the same as usual unless suspicions are confirmed.